Today marks six months since I was freed from my relationship with Phil ( Read more... )

Body: My total weight loss is now 67 pounds, 44 of which have been lost since January 4th. Now I just need a tummy tuck. Argh and yikes. I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror, intentionally integrating my new body. I have a post in my head where I want to tease apart some of my ideas about weight, weight loss, motivation and determination ( Read more... )

1. I stayed with Phil because his way of loving me was identical to my mother's: I'll throw a couple of crumbs your way from time to time, just enough so you stay emeshed. But I'll also send you the subtle message that you will never feel secure with me, and I will love you only on my terms.

2. I need my man to have a paternal, I'm there for ( Read more... )

Phil sent me a text saying he needed to come out to Normandy to pick up his personal effects and we needed to arrange a time when I would not be here for this to take place ( Read more... )

So last Monday night, March 26th, I'm talking on the phone with Phil (big mistake; I'm stupid) working out the transfer of the car reg but actually trying to suss out if he would be open/wanting to see me to sign off on the carte grise. (I'm stupid. I'm lonely. I'm dupping myself into thinking I loved this guy when really he was just a proxy/ ( Read more... )

Today (more like tonight, at 1 am) marks one month precisely that Phil decided he no longer wanted to be my person ( Read more... )

I think I'm anchored in sadness and I really should not be. There is so much that I need to remind myself about how Phil ended this that should override my missing him to my core. "Should". Yeah. That isn't how my brain works, clearly ( Read more... )

I'm still shattered, but less than I was a week ago. Still I have moments that I forget the events of February 17th, and then startle when I realize I'm single ( Read more... )

Things not to say to someone post-breakup

"We always wondered why you were with him"Guess what? You will never know why someone is with someone else. You can only know why YOU are with the person you are with. When you say something like this, it sends a message to the person in pain that her choice was questionable. If she is already thinking ( Read more... )

I never thought I'd be referring to Phil as "my ex". It sounds so strange when those words leave my lips ( Read more... )